Saturday, February 23, 2008

Fear

The ground is cool and dank beneath me, but the heat of that incessant hum still swirls in my eardrums like a pesky mosquito that eludes me in the darkness. I brace myself…waiting in a moment that feels like eternity. The nausea within me grows and I feel dizzy as I rest my head against the hard stones of the building behind me. I try to pace my breathing with his…he who sits beside me, but his breath is every bit as shallow as mine. Neither of us is immune, it is simply a matter of time.

Eventually it comes, blasting us like the blitz of a headstrong storm rolling in off the ocean. Within moments, the heavens close their doors and the sky darkens, snuffing out the eternal hope of a singular ray of sunshine. All comes crashing down around us as that relentless monotonous drone penetrates the inner recesses of my soul. I sit still and silent amongst the chaos showering down around me mirroring the war that rages from within. Above me, I make out the shadow of it swooping through the black smoke. I can see it through the awkward angle of the eves. It circles. I can feel the piercing red beady eyes through the smouldering air. I close mine own eyes, yet remain haunted by the image of those fluorescent beady eyes emblazoned on my memory. I imagine them looking and seeing straight through it all, straight through right to my raw beating heart, my heart beating furiously, pounding so hard to a nervous rhythm that it almost breaks free of my ribcage which holds it prisoner. I open my eyes slightly and gasp. So close, so close.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

go to brazil and take ayahuasca--it will help you

Annie Wicking and Loman Austen said...

This is wonderful, Carla.
I'm glad to that I've kept one of the blogs going. I don't have the time to keep all three going as my novel writing has become very important to me.

Best wishes,

Annie

The Fool said...

This is a very moving, beautiful, and powerful piece, Carla. It succeeds on many levels...and in the end it brings the reader's heart very close to that of the character portrayed. So close, so close.

Excellent, Carla. This piece is on of your best. Thanks for sharing.

Carla said...

Anonymous, Have you had personal experience with ayahuasca? I would be interested in hearing of your experience.

Annie, Thanks. I am very glad to have discovered that you've kept one of your blogs going. I hope that all continues to go well with your novel writing. Keep us posted.

Carla said...

Fool, Thanks, that means a lot coming from you. I felt close myself while writing it.

dawn said...

Very suspenseful. My heart was beating a little faster. Is this part of a novel or short story you are writing?

Carla said...

Dawn, I haven't yet decided where this is going, that is if it is going anywhere. It's simply what came out in the moment. I'm pleased that you found it suspenseful.

Anonymous said...

Wow...thanks for sharing. Some of my questions from the first segment now answered. I think it's finished, no need to go anywhere else with it. That existential moment we all encounter but can never predict...close, so close.

Randy

The Hermit of Wandering Thoughts said...

I like the inevitability of this piece and the melancholy that sits within.. beautiful writing.
cheers

Steffi said...

Very interesting post and I agree with Dawn!

Carla said...

Randy, I'm glad most of your questions have been answered. I'm not sure that mine have been. I guess that's what makes it one of those moments.

Hermit, Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece.

Carla said...

Steffi, I'm glad you think so. Thanks.

paris parfait said...

Well done you! Bravo! And the photos add to the atmosphere of your piece.

Carla said...

Tara, Thank you so much, I appreciate your kudos. It's not the sort of piece I normally write.